At this point I have done some work for all four jobs since I last slept, and I have been up for 27 hours straight.  I want to go to bed and curl up in the fetal position for a week or two.

But I won’t, because that isn’t going to get the job done.  KJN Kim says I will take my next dan test when he returns to the USA in the fall.  My most recent dan test was five months ago.  If I don’t get out there and do the work every single day, then I am going to deserve to fail.  If I get out there and earn that dan every single day, then I don’t care if my leg falls off during testing, I will have won.

What madness is this?  The belt isn’t a prize to trot out for class.  Your rank isn’t supposed to be a measure of how long you rested in place.  Rank for a martial artist is supposed to be an acknowledgement of the hard work and dedication you have already shown to your art.  It’s the difference between an artist and a pretender.

If I am going to look my students in the eye and not cringe when they bow in, if I am going to take my students to seminar with pride and honor, if I am going to bow in with the other masters and feel like I belong, then I don’t have time for my fatigue.

I’ve got work to do.

Haidong.

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